Bahhhh. In the beginning, god said, "Let there be live journals," and there was. On the first day, god attended to her most important duties and went about her house, dusting and vacuuming. Remember that cleanliness is next to godliness. On the second day, god became quite lonely in her empty, but spotless domicile. She created adam, the first man. From adam, she borrowed one rib and from this rib created steve. Having an extra rib, steve now assumed the dominant position, effectively making adam his bitch. On the third day, god forget to make the dinosaurs and destroyed adam and steve. On the forth day, she created the dinosaurs. On the fifth day she had quite the case of PMS and wiped those mother f**kers right off the face of the planet. She also had enough time on the fifth day to create midol, perhaps one of her greatest achievements. On the sixth day, she reincarnated adam and steve and their relationship, as it was before their demise, was once again forged. Adam and steve begat two daughters, maud and gertrude. On the seventh day, content with the clockwork she had set into motion, god, just like every high-school senior, slacked.
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    Humming Computer, buzzing faulty fluorescent light